Yelp Gone Wild
Jane is, according to her Google Review profile picture, a white woman in her 60s or 70s. She presents as classy and discerning, the kind of person who has come out east since she was a child and knows what’s worth your money and time. She’s even willing to give you that information for free.
At the beginning of May, Jane, whose username is “Jane (the Honest Reviewer),” started posting comments about South Fork businesses.
“Walking into this place is like stepping into the fever dream of a thrift store and a garage sale that got lost on its way to relevance,” she wrote about East Hampton Gardens. It is a popular and locally owned garden-supply and home-gift store in East Hampton Village — a business that, it is fair to say, is otherwise universally acknowledged to be a bastion of chic. (And that this summer, to the dismay of its fans, lost its longtime lease on Gingerbread Lane.)
The almost 200-word review went on to call the store a “pre-renovation Grey Gardens homage — minus the charm, plus the dust,” suggesting that anyone who values their “time, eyesight, or sanity” simply shouldn’t bother going there.
Most of the other reviews she wrote were equally florid and cruel.
She gave the Maidstone Club three stars, writing that in her “humble, probably correct, opinion,” the establishment would be more successful if the staff were “easy on the eyes.”
Harbor Market and Kitchen in Sag Harbor, another rather beloved mom-and-pop institution, was “the culinary equivalent of waiting in line at the D.M.V.” The Sag Harbor Variety Store (a k a, the Five and Dime, perhaps the most hallowed shopping emporium anywhere on the South Fork, barring of Hildreth’s of Southampton) had “the essence of a dusty liquidation sale” with employees that were all “auditioning for the role of ‘inanimate background object #3.’ ” Flowers by Beth in Amagansett, according to Jane (the Honest Reviewer), only sold floral arrangements that were “perfect for funerals or any other event where you want to communicate deep regret and disappointment.”
What? Had Jane (the Honest Reviewer) ever even been to Flowers by Beth? Or the Variety Store, or East Hampton Gardens — much less been inside the Maidstone Club?
Of the eight reviews that were public on her profile when the story broke on social media that there was a Google Reviews slasher on the loose, the only five-star rating was reserved for Lulu Kitchen and Bar, the ever-popular Sag Harbor Mediterranean bistro. Was it a clue, people wondered feverishly, that Lulu is owned by a Friend of Trump?
On May 13, Michael Giannelli, the owner of East Hampton Gardens, posted a video to the business’s Instagram page addressing Jane (the Honest Reviewer)’s destruction campaign. Holding the camera just above his face, the blue light of his phone screen reflected in his thick black-framed eyeglasses, Giannelli outlined the situation.
“Hey, everybody,” he said. “I just wanted to pop on here and do something that I’ve never done before. I just wanted to let you guys know and see if anybody out there recognizes the woman I’m going to post right after this on my reel. She has been running around the local villages like Amagansett, Sag Harbor, East Hampton, and leaving scathing reviews about local businesses.”
He reminded his viewers that the stores she slammed were not big retailers like Amazon or Home Depot, but community-oriented small establishments. Giannelli’s response video gained traction, gaining more than 290,000 views, 11,000 likes, and 884 comments as of press time in early August.
Lisa Field, the owner of Sag Harbor Variety, simply didn’t care. She told East she cares more about being community-oriented than what a “coward behind a screen” has to say. The store has been in business since 1922, and Field and her family have owned it since 1970.
“The person who gave that review . . . there was nothing I could do to make her happy,” Field said. “Thirty years ago, you would have had to stand in the middle of Main Street and yell or take out a full page ad in the newspaper.”
Gone is the supremacy of Fodor’s or restaurant reviews in The East Hampton Star; the internet has granted everyone a potentially influential opinion. Yelp, Google Reviews, TikTok, and Instagram have become the primary means for figuring out what’s worth your time and money. In a highly
seasonal resort market, these lists and reviews are often dictated by the tastes of day trippers or one-time customers.
Helen Chen, the general manager of Smokey Buns and Kumiso — two restaurants in East Hampton Village operated by Tip Top Hospitality — sounded chipper even when talking about the complicated relationship restaurants have with online reviews. “There’s a lot of influence with the reviews, with social media, with what other people say,” she said. “So we do have to take it seriously, because that’s how the world works.”
The ratings you see on Yelp or Google Reviews are, of course, impacted by the numbers of reviewers. (The East Hampton Star currently has a one-star rating from one lone review on Google Reviews and a 3.7-star rating on Yelp based on three reviews. Make of that what you will.)
“Online reputation does matter, but it’s not the only indicator,” said Chen, who is originally from the North Fork and worked at her parents’ Chinese restaurant there. “As someone who grew up behind the Chinese-takeout food counter, it’s like, hey, the Chinese takeout restaurant has like three stars, that means they’re good!”
She cheerfully responds to every online review, good or bad.
On July 19, she posted a screenshot of a review on the Smokey Buns Instagram. The comment, written by someone with the username Max P. and a location set to Philadelphia, gave Smokey Buns three stars, while calling the food “hot and fresh but nothing special.” Helen wrote back: “Thanks for the review, Max! Hot & fresh food, friendly service, and a clean restaurant — sounds like we are doing exactly what we set out to do! We know not every burger is life changing, but we do our best to serve a great meal at a fair price in East Hampton. Hope to see you again soon!”
Chen’s general approach is to treat every opinion seriously, but not too seriously.
And she has a suggestion for the best ethical practices when you encounter a problem at a store or restaurant: Customers should try to address it right then and there, in person, rather than waiting then lobbing a Molotov cocktail on social media. “I do think that those who then go online to write about their experience, there is like a layer of protection. They’re able to be a little bit meaner or less empathetic because when we have the opportunity to resolve an issue in person, it just shows that hospitality is run by real people.”
In June, Alexandra Hayes Robinson, a lifestyle influencer with 272,800 followers on TikTok who recently moved here from Santa Monica, went for a solo dinner at the Sag Harbor Tavern. As she explained in the TikTok video that followed, she walked in, but didn’t see the host at the welcome station, so, on the advice of a waiter, seated herself at the bar — to the apparent disapproval of said hostess, as well as the bartender, according to Robinson.
What ensued was a perfect example of how one person’s point of view can spiral out of control. “[The hostess] really went out of her way to, A, prove a point. B, embarrass me. And C, make me feel like an idiot. But you can’t make me feel like an idiot,” Robinson said in the TikTok. She left, got dinner somewhere else, and then posted about the interaction, criticizing the tavern for rude service and $34 burgers.
Shortly after, the Sag Harbor Tavern Yelp page was bombarded with negative reviews from fans recapping and quoting Ms. Robinson’s story.
Freddy B., from Chicago, wrote a critique on June 7 parroting Robinson’s account: “The hostess spoke to us like we had personally ruined her summer by sitting at the bar, and the bartender followed up with all the charm of a parking ticket.” He was just one of dozens who posted using similar language.
TikTok users gleefully piled on, sharing screenshots of the bad review, even leaving tips for how others could best post, too: “Leave 2 stars!! Harder to delete” urged @prettyinpeace17. Robinson never asked her followers to engage in this vigilante reviewing, but the incident shows the perverse pleasure some users — it would appear — take in trashing businesses online.
Back at East Hampton Gardens, after Giannelli’s clap-back video went viral, internet sleuths tried to figure out who Jane (the Honest Reviewer) was. It soon was determined that her profile photo for Google Reviews was a random stock image that others were also using over on TikTok and X.
Jane (the Honest Reviewer) hasn’t posted anything else since the community shouted her down and has, in fact, subsequently removed the reviews from her personal profile, although they live on on the lucky recipients’ own pages. Jane (the Honest Reviewer) was a fake — or, at minimum, a front for someone with an ax to grind — and whether she sincerely meant what she said or had some other motivation remains unknown.
In a follow-up video, Giannelli thanked his Instagram sympathizers for their love and support while addressing his mysterious nemesis directly: “I still invite them to come in and say hi,” he said. “And let’s just chat about how clean your house is.